2022.07.17 | Seeking to Balance
“Seeking to Balance”
Rev. Dr. Arlene K. Nehring
Eden United Church of Christ, Hayward, CA
Sixth Sunday after Pentecost
July 17, 2022
The gospel lesson today is a familiar one to those of us who have been “frequent fliers” at Bible study, women’s fellowship, and Sunday worship. For others--not so much. So I will begin with a little “Who’s Who” and some context to explain how this story is situated in the life of Jesus.
The main characters are Mary, Martha, and Jesus. Martha, the hostess, and her siblings, Mary and Lazarus, were members of a prominent family who resided in Bethany, a city located two miles east of Jerusalem, and they were part of Jesus’ inner circle, particularly during the most active period of ministry.
We know this because all three of them are mentioned in the New Testament gospels, and because Martha is depicted as a homeowner and hostess, who is prosperous enough to accommodate Jesus and his entourage.
The role that Martha played in Jesus’ time was rare for a woman. Nearly all property owners and heads of households were men. No mention is made in the gospels as to how Martha acquired her means. She is simply presented as the de facto head of household and the host of this dinner gathering described in Luke 10.
Martha’s sister Mary doesn’t say a word in this story, but she fulfills a symbolic role by sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to him teach, while Martha races around the house preparing food, shuttling various courses from the kitchen to the table, and waiting on her family and friends.
According to the Gospel of John, chapters 11 and 12, Mary and Martha had a brother named Lazarus, who became ill, died and was raised from the dead by Jesus. If Lazarus was involved in the dinner party described in Luke 10, he was a silent observer, too, because no mention is made of him here.
Luke portrays Martha as content with her role as hostess, but unhappy with her sister Mary who was not jumping up to help her serve, since that was likely the way they were both taught to behave when they were younger.
In her frustration, Martha appeals to Jesus, assuming though he would support her and give Mary a nudge to help, but he does not. Instead, Jesus tells Martha, and everyone in the room with ears to hear, that Mary has chosen the better part.
II
In the 1970s and ‘80’s, this story—and Jesus’ comment that Mary had chosen the better part—were frequently cited as evidence that Jesus was supportive of women’s theological education and religious leadership, including ordination to the Christian ministry.
I have always been fond of this interpretation, yet also saddened by it, because some women have also heard this interpretation of Luke 10 as dismissive of their service to their families and the church. That fact is unfortunate because women have always been the backbone of the church--particularly the stewardship and fellowship aspects of church life.
This is unfortunate, too, because the truth is that Christianity in general and Eden Church in particular would have had to fold tent many years ago if the women of the church had not been so generous with their financial support, and their gifts of time and talent in the kitchens and fellowship halls here and around the world.
III
So what are we to make of this tension between Mary and Martha, between being and doing, between spiritual growth and physical needs, between theological education and Christian service?
My experience of working in church kitchens and my study of scripture have led me to the conclusion that Jesus was not claiming that contemplation and study were more important than the physical needs and the labor required to provide for them. Instead, I see Jesus as offering a healthy corrective to the social and theological norms of his day.
In my view, Jesus was not discounting the value of human need for food and shelter and Martha’s provision of these resources. He was not saying that one set of needs or one vocation was more important than the other. Instead, I see Jesus affirming Mary’s interest in spiritual practices and theological education, and making the point that people’s physical and spiritual needs merit attention, and that women, in particular, were welcome and encouraged to attend to both.
Further evidence of my point is evident just one chapter earlier in Luke’s gospel. Here, in chapter 9, Jesus and his disciples were on retreat at Bethsaida, but they couldn't catch a break. Soon after they docked their boat, and were about to kick back for a rest, they were surrounded by a huge crowd of people seeking a word from Jesus and his healing touch. Rather than telling the disciples to send people away. Jesus responded to the crowd’s need for instruction and healing, and he and his friends fed all five thousand of them.
Here again we see that Jesus avoids preferentializing his own or others’ physical needs over his and their spiritual needs. Instead, he recognizes the need for both. Meeting these needs is not an either/or, it’s a both/and.
IV
The need to recognize people’s physical and spiritual needs, and the challenge presented by trying to fulfill and balance these basic human needs, aren’t ancient conundrums that have been solved once and for all. They are perennial, and they are perhaps even more prevalent here and in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic than ever before.
One might expect that as the Senior Minister I would have figured out how to routinely address and successfully balance my own and others’ physical and spiritual needs, but the truth is that I’m a mess. Most days, I’m probably the negative example of what Jesus was trying to teach Mary and Martha and their guests, back in the day--both/and.
It has been said, and I agree, that the church is a good place for confession.
So this is my confession today: I struggle mightily to find and maintain balance. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not trying. And that doesn’t mean that I haven’t learned a few lessons along the way.
Here are three lessons that I’ve learned through trial and error over the years.
The lack of balance does not result from a lack of information. It is a sign of our need for greater formation. I don’t need more data to prove my need or yours. Instead, we all need more intentional practices from everybody in order to better address our own and others’ spiritual and physical needs. Unless we are very unusual, we can not do the work of formation on our own. We need a buddy system, or better yet, a whole group to mutually support and encourage, and to share the load.
Balance is not a product that we can purchase. It’s a priceless state of being that we can only achieve through spiritual practices, and the good news living in the Bay Area economy, is that these spiritual practices don’t cost a dime. We don’t need to buy plane tickets to Spain and spend 30 days on the Via de Santiago de Compostela---although that would be lovely. We don’t even need a spa weekend in Napa. A morning walk along Eden Landing, flying kites with our kids along the south side of the San Leandro Marina, or watching the sunset from Grizzly Peak in the Berkeley Hills are all within our price range.
Balance cannot be achieved once and for all. It’s not a degree program that we complete and are then handed a diploma to hang on our wall when we’re “done,” or an acronym that we can add to our business cards. The pursuit of balance requires perpetual intentionality. We’re always seekers on the way. If we think we’ve nailed it, we’re either fooling ourselves or we’re dead.
V
The pursuit and the challenge were brought home to me early in my ministry, during my first year of seminary, when I was serving as a student pastor in Belmont, Massachusetts. There I met a young psychologist named Tom who had completed an M.Div. and a Ph.D. in psychology. Rather than taking the traditional path into parish ministry, Tom established a private therapy practice and saw clients that were part of the then emerging Harvard Health Plan.
Over the course of a few coffee hour conversations, I learned that Tom counseled individuals and couples, and led support groups for high powered mid-career professionals who were recovering from heart attacks.
When I asked Tom to explain his approach to working with the heart patients, he explained that the groups usually ran 6-8 weeks. At the first meeting the group of 7-9 men started with introductions and goal setting for lowering heart rates and cholesterol levels.
Subsequent sessions included education about biofeedback, instruction on how to take one's own pulse and blood pressure, and guidance in various spiritual practices such as yoga, meditation, and chanting.
I remember asking Tom, “Does it work?”
“Well, yes,” he said. The approach works because the men are so competitive that they strive to meet or beat their personal bests, and they try to meet or exceed the goals that others set too. It’s not uncommon, Tom said, for someone to come up to him after a group session and say: ‘My goal is to become the best meditator in the group, and to achieve the lowest heart rate.’”
“How many of your clients meet their goals?” I asked.
“Most of them do,” Tom replied. “Generally speaking,” he said, “it’s not hard for most of them to meet their goals. The hard part is converting the practices that I teach into lifelong habits.”
My hope for all of us is that we can find and maintain spiritual habits that bring balance to our chaotic lives without suffering a health crisis that forces us to do this work. These goals are not easily fulfilled, but every step is a step in the right direction, and we never walk alone. Christ is our compañero. Amen.